


The Cat with the Coat

by celedan



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Cursed Jack, F/M, M/M, Puss in Boots - Freeform, Torchwood Version of the Grimm's Fairy Tales
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 18:37:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15540495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celedan/pseuds/celedan
Summary: The Williams brothers don't inherit much from their father, and they fear for their existence. But suddenly, their cat starts to talk, and promises them a better life. It only asks for a coat and boots in exchange, and then Jack heads out to help the brothers. But he doesn't act out from the goodness of his heart; he has a hidden agenda himself...Basically Puss in Boots Torchwood-style.





	The Cat with the Coat

Once upon a time in Cardiff, there was a poor miller. When he died, the only thing he left his three sons was the ramshackle mill, an old donkey, and a red cat.

Despondently, the three sat around the table, and wondered what they should do now.

“Let's face it,” Rhys, the oldest brother, said. “We won't survive with what little profit this mill yields.”

The other two nodded, trusting in their brother who'd always had a quick and able mind for economical thinking.

“I wish I could become a Royal Constable,” Andy, the youngest, moaned dreamily. “But only people with wealth or good background can join them.”

The third brother, Rory, nodded. “I wish we all could become someone else, something we really wished to be.”

“But you can!”

The three brothers froze as they heard the unfamiliar voice. Suddenly, their red cat jumped onto the table, and sat there, calmly looking at them.

“Did the cat just talk?!” Rhys stammered.

The other two nodded mutely.

“Has it always done that?”

The other two shrugged.

The cat hadn't been with them for long. One day, it had been there, and since it diminished the rodents pitching into their corn, it had been allowed to stay. But until today, it had never attempted to speak. At least, not that they had noticed.

The cat rolled its green eyes. “You're such a clever bunch, aren't you.”

Ignoring the three brothers' spluttering, it nonchalantly started cleaning its paws.

“What do you want?” Andy grumbled. “Why do you insult us?”

“I'm here to help you, can't help the insults.” The cat actually grinned at them.

“Help us?” Rhys frowned. “How?”

“And why?” Rory added.

The cat shrugged. “You're all bemoaning your life, wanting to be something better. I can help you achieve that goal. And for the why; let's just say I'm such an amicable fellow.”

Rhys snorted. “You're just a cat.”

The cat bristled at that, its fur standing on end. “I'm not just a cat,” it said haughtily. “And you may call me Jack.”

“All right,” Andy relented. “How do you wanna help us?”

“Let that be my concern.”

Jack jumped from the table. “I'll get this show on the road. In the meantime, try to not burn down the mill or something until I'm back.”

And with that, Jack the cat left behind three indignantly spluttering brothers.

 

In the eve, he returned. The brothers looked at him expectantly.

“And?” Andy asked eagerly, daring to hope.

“Not so fast,” Jack answered. “I first had to go and check things out.”

“Oh.”

Three disappointed faces met him.

“I have a plan now though.”

The three young men's faces turned hopeful even if they were still slightly sceptical how a cat should help them achieve a better life. But they were desperate.

“But first,” Jack said, “I need you to buy me a coat.”

“A what?!” Rhys spluttered.

“A coat,” Jack explained haughtily. “You don't think I can show myself naked in polite society, do you.”

“Polite Society?” Rory spluttered. “What in God's name have you planned?!”

“You'll see. But I need that coat first.”

The three brothers looked at each other, undecided and uncomfortable. Should they spend their last money to buy this insolent cat a coat only because it claimed to want to help them? It was just a cat. What would it be able to achieve anyway?

“All right,” Rory finally stated.

Rhys spluttered. “Rory!”

His younger brother firmly shook his head. “I have faith in him. And what do we have to lose anyway.”

“He's a cat!”

“A talking cat,” he reminded his brothers.

“Even if he's a talking cat, how should he be able to help us? What if he leaves us as soon as he has his coat?! Ouch!”

Sniffling, Rhys cradled his bleeding hand, and glared at the cat.

Who glared right back.

“I keep my promises,” Jack stated, dignified, his head held high with pride.

Rhys looked long and hard at the cat, then, finally, he relented. “Oh fine.”

He stood up to get the last of their money.

 

Clad in a dashing, heavy wool coat and even little boots made from dark grey leather, the cat grabbed a big sack, filled it with some corn, and, walking like a human on two legs, vanished again, leaving the three brothers to stare after him, full of hope and trepidation.

At that time, the king of Cardiff loved nothing more than to eat partridges. Unfortunately, all his gold couldn't buy him any because the birds that populated the forest in swarms were so timid and careful that no hunter managed to catch them.

But Jack wasn't just any hunter. He was a cat!

And so, he sneaked into the forest, opened the bag to spread some of the corn on the ground, and propped up the opening of the bag with a stick. Having a firm grip on the string that could draw the bag shut, Jack hid behind a bush.

He didn't have to wait long before fat partridges drew nearer cautiously. They had spotted the corn, and, after they hadn't detected any danger, they eagerly began picking at the grains. When the few grains in front of the bag were gone, they, in their greed for the delicious trait, went into the bag to get more (they were timid, nobody said they were clever as well). When more and more partridges trotted into the bag, Jack eventually pulled the string hard. The stick toppled sideways, and the string pulled tight. The partridges were caught. Swiftly, Jack came out of his hiding hole, and painlessly broke the birds' necks.

With the heavy bag over his shoulder, he marched out of the forest and directly towards the king's castle.

“What do you want?” one of the guards at the gate asked, raising a curious eyebrow at the cat that walked on two legs like a human, and wore boots and a coat.

“I want to see the king,” Jack answered self-confidently.

“You, a cat, wanting to see the king?!” the guard snorted. “Very funny.”

“Why not let him,” his companion said. “Maybe it amuses the king, and distracts him of his forced partridge diet.”

The other nodded slowly, and they let the cat pass.

Once standing before the throne, Jack bowed deeply. “Your Majesty. My master, Count Rory, sends you a gift.”

And with a flourish, Jack opened the bag to show the king all the fat, juicy partridges.

The king almost fainted in delight. Thanking Jack profoundly, he ordered the bag the partridges had been in to be filled with as much gold as the cat could carry.

Leaving with his bounty and the king's gratitude, Jack returned to the Williams brothers.

“The king sends his best wishes and deep gratitude for gifting him the partridges,” Jack explained once he had set paw into the mill, and he dumped the heavy bag full of gold onto the table.

The brothers' eyes grew big as they saw the many gold coins.

“Partridges?” Rory asked, flabbergasted.

“Of course,” Jack stated nonchalantly, as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

Since he wouldn't say anything more, the brothers had to continue wondering while Jack shed his coat and his boots, and curled up underneath the hearth.

 

The next day, he went back into the forest to catch even more partridges to gift to the king, and also the day after that.

Every time, he returned with a bag full of gold, and in the palace, he was a welcomed guest who could come and go as he chose. And while being there, he caught many gossip and news about parties that were planned or trips into the countryside the king had planned.

At first thinking he now had done enough for the brothers, Jack soon realised that obviously, it wasn't enough yet. Frowning, he decided that he had to expand his plans a little.

 

“Now you have enough gold to make your dreams come true,” Jack one day stated. And indeed, Andy could join the Royal Constables now with his wealth if he so wished, and Rhys could launch a carriage service. Rory would have enough gold to look for a good wife without having to be ashamed of how he should provide for her.

“But!” the cat pointed out. “I can give you more if you want.”

“More?” the three wondered. “But what more could you give us? We are rich, and now can live in comfort and without worries for the rest of our lives.”

Jack waved his paw dismissively. “If you trust me, I will give you even more.”

Unsure, the brothers nodded. “All right, what do you have in mind?”

“You only have to take a bath in the ocean near Swansea. The rest is up to me.”

“Take a bath?”

Confused, the brothers looked at each other, but eventually, they shrugged, and followed the cat the long way to the shore.

Once there, Jack made them strip off all of their clothes, and jump into the cold water.

Then, he gathered the brothers' clothes, and hid them behind some rocks.

“What are you doing?!” they cried, appalled.

“Oh, calm down,” Jack sneered, rolling his eyes. “It's just like naked hide and seek.”

“What?!”

“Never mind.”

“But we can't come out like that!” Rhys spluttered. “Any minute now, people could come this way.”

“That's the point,” Jack grumbled softly to himself, and cocked his ears. There. There was the sound of hooves and the rumbling of a heavy carriage coming nearer.

“Hush now, and let me do all the talking,” he inculcated the three brothers, and since they didn't know what the cat had planned, they wisely kept their mouths shut.

A splendid carriage indeed rumbled nearer, bearing the royal crest on the doors.

When it neared the brothers' location, Jack suddenly jumped onto the street, and waved his paws wildly.

“Help!” he cried. “Oh please, help.”

Astonished, the cabby stopped the carriage.

The curious king stuck his head out the window to see what all the commotion was about. His face brightened up when he spotted the cat.

“My dear friend, what a surprise. May I do something for you?”

“Oh, my king,” Jack wailed, falling to his knees before the carriage. “It's a tragedy. My master, the Count, and his two brothers decided to bath in the sea like they did when they were small boys, but a ruthless pack of thieves stole all of their clothes! They can't come out of the water like that, it wouldn't be decent, but they will catch their death if they stay in the sea any longer.”

The king's face turned dark with worry. He waved his hand, and in the next second, one of the guards appeared on his horse. The king send him back to the castle to get clothes for the Count and his brothers.

In no time at all, the guard returned with another carriage in tow. Numerous chests were strapped onto it, and a few servants jumped out to assist the hapless Count and his brothers.

Terrified of what was happening right now, the three brothers meekly let themselves be dressed in the most luxurious clothes they had ever seen, let alone worn.

Then, they were brought before the king.

“My king,” Jack said grandly, “may I introduce you to my master, Count Rory.”

Jack inwardly sighed in relief when Rory immediately understood and got his cue. The nervous young man bowed before the king. When he straightened up again, his breath caught because he met the eyes of the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her blue eyes bore into him questioningly, her rosy lips pursed curiously. Her skin was as white as snow and looked so smooth and soft like silk, and her fiery red hair framed her lovely face like a halo of fire.

Rory was so enamoured of this lovely creature that he didn't even notice Jack introducing his brothers to the king.

“This is my daughter, Amelia.” The king's voice finally managed to rouse Rory from his stupor, and he sighed dreamily. Amelia. What a beautiful name!

But in the next second already, his heart started hammering like mad in his chest for a completely different reason.

“Dear Count,” the king said. “You have no idea how grateful I was about your presents. Your lands surely must be magnificent if they have this abundance of delicious partridges.

“Ehm...” Rory stammered, but luckily, Jack saved him.

“They are, my king. Do you wish to see them?”

“That would be lovely!”

The brothers shot Jack a dark look while the king and his daughter climbed back into the carriage, inviting the three young men to join them.

“I'll take care of everything,” Jack whispered, and winked.

“I will run ahead, and announce your return, my Lords,” he declared loudly, and in the next second, he was gone, fast like lightning even in his coat and boots.

 

After a while, Jack passed a great meadow. Before he had found a new home with the Williams family, he had travelled far and wide through the country, and one day, he had passed this lands, not without a reason, he might add. He had heard rumours about who owned this magnificent lands, and now he returned here to fulfill his oath towards the Williams brothers, but also towards the three people he held most dear in his life and who desperately needed his help...

Stopping, he called out to the people making hay on the meadow. “Hey there! Who owns this meadow?”

“The Master,” astonished, they answered the cat. “He is a mighty wizard.”

“Listen, in a few minutes, the king will come this way, and if he asks who owns this meadow, you will answer, the Count.” Jack narrowed his eyes. “Otherwise, you will be punished horribly.”

The men and women looked at each other, then nodded. They were afraid of this strange cat that walked and talked like a human. Maybe it was a mighty wizard itself that had come to challenge the Master. They rather obeyed than being caught in the middle of two wizards' fighting.

Jack continued on his way, and soon reached a cornfield that was so vast you couldn't see where it ended on the horizon. Here, he asked the same question, and received the same answer. Once more, he impressed on the people working there to only say that the field belonged to the Count.

The people cutting wood in a magnificent forest had to say the same to the king.

And then, beyond the forest, Jack saw the Master's castle. It was the biggest and most beautiful building Jack had ever seen, but unfortunately, it was the most dangerous, too.

Strong magical and mechanical defences protected the castle. They were like a physical being he could grasp the nearer he came. Jack immediately knew who was responsible for the cleverly hidden mechanical traps he spotted. Since he knew his dear Toshiko's thinking from the inside out, and since he was just a small cat, he managed to slip safely past all the set up defences.

And since the magical defences didn't seem to perceive a cat as dangerous, they let him through as well.

Nobody stopped him on his way deeper into the bowels of the castle.

In the throne room, he stepped before the Master, a surprisingly young looking man whose cold eyes belied the benign smile with which he greeted Jack.

“Greetings, oh Master,” Jack said, and bowed formally before the wizard.

The Master inclined his head. “Greetings, my good cat. To what do I owe the honour of such an unusual visit?” His lips twitched mockingly when he regarded Jack.

Before the cat could answer, movement to his left distracted him.

His heart almost stopped beating.

“I would offer you something,” the Master drawled. “Some mice perhaps, but I'm afraid my servant is only good for making coffee.” He chuckled. “In making coffee though, he is a master on his own.”

Jack tried to stop his fur from bristling, and he glared at the Master for belittling his Ianto. He briefly looked at the young man, and met his eyes.

Blue eyes narrowed, and then widened slightly.

Jack didn't know how, but Ianto had recognised him. Had recognised him in the form of a cat and although his friends thought Jack dead (which was the sole reason they had been taken prisoner by the Master; because they had left Torchwood Castle to go look for Jack's whereabouts in the hope he was still alive after the long time he had disappeared).

He nodded at him, and Ianto returned the gesture almost imperceptibly.

Jack turned towards the Master again.

“You're too gracious,” he started to flatter the wizard. “But no, I'm not here for coffee, no matter how good it is. I have come here because I wanted to convince myself of all the rumours about you.”

The Master cocked an eyebrow. “Pray tell, which rumours could that be?”

“That you are the greatest wizard of all,” Jack stated, and with satisfaction, he noticed the pleased smile curving the Master's lips.

“Indeed. Go on.”

“I heard that you can turn into every animal you so wish.” The cat frowned disbelievingly. “Well, I will gladly believe that if it's a wolf or a fox you want to turn into. But what about something bigger? Say, an elephant. I don't believe that.”

The Master proudly stared into the insolent cat's eyes. “Of course I can turn into an elephant. Here we go.”

And in the next second, the Master had turned into an elephant, his trumpeting shaking the castle's walls to the very foundations.

“What the Hell!”

Owen came to a skidding halt next to Ianto, Toshiko only shortly behind him. The three humans and the cat stared at the huge elephant standing inside the throne room, looking down his trunk pointedly at Jack.

Jack nodded, seemingly impressed. “Yes, all right, I believe you. This is more than I ever imagined.”

Owen and Toshiko's eyes widened when they recognised the cat's voice, but they wisely kept their mouths shut.

Jack cocked his head. “And what about a lion for example?”

“That's no problem for me either,” the elephant boomed, almost bored, and in the blink of an eye, the elephant morphed into a proud lion. He trotted up and down in front of the cat, shaking his wild mane.

“Impressive,” Jack breathed.

The lion held its head even higher with vain pride.

“But...” Jack shook his head. “No, that's impossible.”

“What?” the lion roared.

“I simply can't believe you would be able to do that. You are the greatest wizard in the world, but surely even you couldn't do _that_!”

“Tell me, and I will show you that it is possible, little cat.”

“All right. I will bow before you if you can turn into something incredibly small, say, a mouse.”

The lion snickered. “You are so simple-minded. As if that's a problem for me.”

And suddenly, instead of the lion, a small mouse sat before the astonished eyes of the four friends.

But before either of the humans could blink, Jack pounced, grabbed the mouse, and devoured it with head and tail.

The human's watching gulped, and turned a little green around their noses, but other than that, didn't show any reaction to what had happened just now, watching their Lord start washing his whiskers.

“I see, in the future, you won't need me any more dealing with any rodent problems, Sir,” Ianto drawled deadpan, and in the next second, found his arms full of big red cat that started purring happily immediately.

“I'll always need you, Ianto,” Jack purred, and rubbed his face against Ianto's chin.

The young man leaned away slightly. “Could I tempt you to some mint, Sir, before you do that? I dearly hope rodent turned wizard won't be on your daily menu from now on.”

Jack snickered, but continued to rub his head against Ianto. “God, I missed your Welsh griping.”

“I do not gripe!” Ianto pouted indignantly.

“Sure you do,” the cat sighed contentedly, and he would have fallen asleep in Ianto's arms hadn't fanfares suddenly announced the king's arrival.

Swiftly, Jack jumped from Ianto's arms again, and together, they went downstairs to await the small party just entering the courtyard.

Jack jumped down the steps, and opened the door of the carriage.

“My king,” he said. “Welcome to my master's castle. It's the greatest honour having you here with us.”

The king exited the carriage, and looked up the huge building which was bigger and more beautiful than even his own castle.

“I have to say, I am lost for words. I never imagined there could be a person owning all this wealth.”

Appraisingly, the king looked at Rory who, along with his brothers, had to hurry to close his mouth in his perusal of the beautiful castle – their castle.

“Ehm, yes.” Flustered, he cleared his throat. And he became even more flustered when princess Amelia stepped forward, and smiled at him.

The king's eyes twinkled as he watched these developments. It seemed as if he had found the right husband for his daughter at last. And if he correctly interpreted the looks between the Count's older brother Rhys and Amelia's cousin Gwenlyn who had accompanied them in the carriage when they'd come upon the three brothers, then he firmly believed that a double wedding soon would be in order.

 

A great feast was held. All of the Master's former servants, now the Williams brother's servants, it seemed, outdid themselves to show their gratitude. Finally, they were free of the Master's cruel reign, and could look forward to the mastery of these kind young men.

The only one who wasn't happy was Jack.

What had he missed?! He had rid the world of an evil wizard, and had given these three poor guys a kingdom at the same time! What more could he do.

Irritated, he jumped down from his chair of honour at the table, and went onto the balcony. Jumping up onto the balustrade, he looked up at the glittering stars.

“Jack?”

He sighed, and didn't turn around to Ianto who stepped up behind him. He started to purr though when his lover started scratching behind his ears.

“I don't know what I missed,” he confessed. “I did everything I was supposed to to break my curse.”

“How did that happen by the way?” Owen asked when he and Toshiko had followed the two outside as well.

“Did the Master do this?” Toshiko asked. “Shouldn't you have turned back into a human with the Master's death?”

Jack cringed. “It wasn't him,” he confessed. “It was Rose.”

“Rose?!” Ianto exclaimed, baffled. “The Doctor's apprentice?”

“Yeah. It was an accident, but she couldn't lift her spell afterwards. I had to break it on my own.”

“And the conditions?” Toshiko asked.

The cat shrugged. “To do a good deed.” He glared at the castle and back towards the balcony doors through which laughter and merry music could be heard.

“You just had to do a good deed for the curse to be lifted?” Owen snorted disbelieving.

“Yeah.” Jack suddenly grinned despite his depressive mood, and once more looked around at their luxurious surroundings. “I did great, don't you think?” He pouted. “So why didn't it work?!”

Ianto shook his head fondly, and gently caressed Jack's back who instinctively arched into the touch. “Trust you to think doing a good deed consists of giving those three a kingdom.”

Jack winked at Ianto charmingly, and drew him nearer. “I dream big, baby, you know that.”

Under his stoic mask, Ianto blushed slightly, and cleared his throat. “Don't I know,” he grumbled. He cleared his throat again. “But that's not what I meant.”

The cat cocked his head at his lover in confusion.

“Oh Jack.” Ianto shook his head, smiling fondly before he picked his lover up into his arms. He just opened his mouth to explain his theory, when loud cheering from inside the banquet hall interrupted him.

“What's going on?” Owen asked, craning his neck to try to see what was going on inside.

“The king just announced the betrothal of Rory and Amelia as well as Rhys and Gwenlyn.” Jack cocked his sharp cat ears some more, and thoughtfully tilted his head. “And he offered Andy a position with the Royal Guards in Cardiff.”

Before anybody could say any more, a golden glow suddenly enveloped Jack.

Startled, Ianto dropped him none too gently, and backed away a few steps.

Golden mist swirled around the cat until the three humans couldn't see their Lord and friend any more. But as suddenly as the golden glow had appeared, it vanished again.

And with it the cat.

In its stead, a breathtakingly handsome man stood before them, beaming at them all.

 _At least, he isn't naked_ , Ianto thought with a relieved sigh.

Happily, Jack looked at his hands, and started patting his body (clad in simple trousers, shirt, and boots). He couldn't believe that he really was human again!

Questioningly, he looked at Ianto.

“Heart's desire, Jack,” Ianto chided him with a gentle smile.

Jack returned the smile sheepishly. “Oh. Right.”

Looking at Ianto, at _his_ heart's desire, it made complete sense that only as strong a reason as one's heart desire which was given in an act of selflessness would be able to break the curse. He stepped closer to Ianto, and wanted to take him into his arms, as...

“A clever little ape you have there, Jack.”

The voice suddenly appearing made them all spin around. There stood the Doctor with a sheepish looking Rose in tow. The mighty wizard grinned at Jack. “Should have known that you'd misunderstand the good deed bit.” He shrugged at Ianto's scowl on Jack's behalf. “Your luck that by providing those boys with all this wealth, it turned out to be the requirement for them gaining their heart's desire; these two girls and becoming a knight.”

Ignoring the Doctor's lecturing, Rose stepped forward. She still smiled sheepishly at her friend. “Jack, I'm really sorry.”

Smiling soothingly, he shook his head. “It's all right, Rose. You didn't do it on purpose.”

“But you could have been killed.”

“Nah, you know me. I'm like a cat with seven lives.” He winked at her, and spontaneously drew Ianto close to him. The young man readily returned Jack's embrace, and pressed close.

“Finally, I have back the life I want and need though,” Jack sighed, kissing Ianto's temple. “And that's the only thing _I_ require.”

**End**

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> A little silly project that came to my mind when I watched a cat strolling through the garden, and somehow I had to think of puss in boots, and that the cat really is a good con-man in the fairy tale; and who's the best con-man if not Jack. This story is what happened after I sat down in front of my computer.^^


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